4.17.2011

Cat Women of the Moon!

This is my most popular iRiff thus far.

Do you ever get tired of your cat teleporting away just as you have them cornered? Tired of the total hypnotic control they have over the women in your life? Tired of choreographed dances and plots to take over the world? I'm sure many of us find these traits inherit in our cats annoying, perhaps even scary. Catwomen of the Moon is a film that explores the terrifying prospect of facing these ordinary frustrations in a setting of cold isolation over 200,000 miles away from help where your harmless feline friend has evolved into a furry siren of doom. As any scientist will tell you, the Moon is likely riddled with small pockets of gravity which allow for the maintenance of atmosphere and moisture deep within the bowels of the Moon. It is here, far from the prying eyes of man that the Catwomen hack up their plans for world domination like so many fur balls just outside your bathroom door. What world do they wish to take over? Why Earth of course! It falls to the crew of Moon Rocket Four to save the human race as we know it. (That is if the Catwomen's deception doesn't rip our hapless heroes apart from the inside out!) Only the best of the best of our out-of-shape middle-aged astronauts were chosen for this mission and it is up to them to not only survive the horror of an all female species but to stop them in their tracks. This duty falls to Laird, our pudgy and cowardly commander. It falls to our belligerent jackass of a co-pilot, Kip. The job falls to our slow and horny yet loveable radio operator Doug. It falls to greedy and entrepreneurial engineer Walt. Finally, the job falls to the unlucky Helen. Helen, as a weak willed woman, comes under the control of the Catwomen and her very presence threatens to shake this fellowship down to its deepest core. Will they even make it out alive? Thrill, marvel, and enjoy Catwomen of the Moon!