Cat Women of the Moon!

This is my most popular iRiff thus far.

Do you ever get tired of your cat teleporting away just as you have them cornered? Tired of the total hypnotic control they have over the women in your life? Tired of choreographed dances and plots to take over the world? I'm sure many of us find these traits inherit in our cats annoying, perhaps even scary. Catwomen of the Moon is a film that explores the terrifying prospect of facing these ordinary frustrations in a setting of cold isolation over 200,000 miles away from help where your harmless feline friend has evolved into a furry siren of doom. As any scientist will tell you, the Moon is likely riddled with small pockets of gravity which allow for the maintenance of atmosphere and moisture deep within the bowels of the Moon. It is here, far from the prying eyes of man that the Catwomen hack up their plans for world domination like so many fur balls just outside your bathroom door. What world do they wish to take over? Why Earth of course! It falls to the crew of Moon Rocket Four to save the human race as we know it. (That is if the Catwomen's deception doesn't rip our hapless heroes apart from the inside out!) Only the best of the best of our out-of-shape middle-aged astronauts were chosen for this mission and it is up to them to not only survive the horror of an all female species but to stop them in their tracks. This duty falls to Laird, our pudgy and cowardly commander. It falls to our belligerent jackass of a co-pilot, Kip. The job falls to our slow and horny yet loveable radio operator Doug. It falls to greedy and entrepreneurial engineer Walt. Finally, the job falls to the unlucky Helen. Helen, as a weak willed woman, comes under the control of the Catwomen and her very presence threatens to shake this fellowship down to its deepest core. Will they even make it out alive? Thrill, marvel, and enjoy Catwomen of the Moon!

Atomic Rulers of the World!

As you can tell from the dates on my archive I haven't written in a while. This is partly because I have been too busy mocking movies with audio commentaries through Rifftrax with a service called "iRiffs." What follows is the product description and free sample video for my very first iRiff "Atomic Rulers of the World!"

It’s “Atomic Rulers of the World!” Or at least that’s one of the titles this film is known as because just one title isn’t enough to contain the action-packed excitement! This movie is one of the many chronicling the adventures of the incredible Japanese super-hero “Starman.” Starman is the slower, much gayer cousin of “Prince of Space.” With his amazing powers of changing clothes quickly and very slowly bending objects he hopes to save the universe’s “atmosphere” by stopping nuclear pollution given off by us here on Earth with nasty nuclear bombs. Lord knows why the Japanese are so stuck on the evils of nuclear weaponry and radiation but it certainly has provided us with some great B-reel material. And this film has it all; fight scenes clearly choreographed by toddlers, political intrigue on par with films like “Doom” or “Aeon Flux” and romance…well, there really isn’t much romance unless you count the endless fondling of young boys and chained prisoners. It’s short, it’s sweet, and it has a grown man running around in tights with see-through clothes and an antenna on his head. What more do you need?