Curse of the Cannibal Confederates Review

Title: Curse of the Cannibal Confederates a.k.a. The Curse of the Screaming Dead (1982)

Rating: 1 out of 5

Tagline: “The South shall rise again…and again!”

My Tagline: “The South is dead. They just don’t know it yet.”

Plot Synopsis: Some asshole hunters drag their girlfriends out to the woods to do some illegal game shootin’ with banned bullets. While wandering around they happen to come across some relics of the War of Northern Aggression and seem to think they’ll get rich. (well, the lead asshole does anyway) Shortly after pilfering the dead’s last earthly remains some kind of zombie-like things show up and cause trouble for the assholes. The end.

Review: You’d think with a title like that and a plot involving confederate zombies this would be a great movie wouldn’t you? Well you’d be wrong. I admit it doesn’t help that the cast looks like younger versions of my patriarchal line but this film really has so little going for it. Weak sound acerbates the character problems and amateur filmmaking just comes off as annoying. Now if you like watching the same couple glitter filled zombie head explosions over and over again then this movie would be right up your alley. But for those of us who just want to find those few diamonds that lay hidden amongst turds this movie is a turd.

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