Werewolf VS The Vampire Women

Title: Werewolf VS The Vampire Women (1971)

Rating: 2 out of 5

Tagline: “The blood flows like vintage wine.”

My Tagline: “All the terror that slow-motion vampire women and hairy French dudes can provide.”

Favorite Quote: “People say I’m crazy, it makes me so angry.”

Plot Synopsis: Okay, so these French chicks are driving around the French countryside with the intention of making it to some town and somehow manage to get lost and out of gas so they stop at some ruins where they met up with this guy that we witnessed turn into a werewolf earlier in the movie and all this somehow relates to a paper one of them, Elvira, is writing about some dead blood-drinking princess. That much makes since, the rest seems like they just made it up as they went along or something. And my God French people fall in love fast!

Review: Review: Well aside from the fact that it’s French (eww) the movie also appears to have been filmed entirely at the bottom of a cup of coffee. From the get-go you are mislead with a great title. It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun with battles between a lone werewolf and a family of female vampires and after you find out it's really nothing the disappointment doesn't set the stage for a fun experience. I’m sure the movie makes sense to somebody out there but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s stupid. I swear that chick must hold some kind of screen record for time spent between meeting a person and falling in love with them and then later stabbing them to set them free of a curse. I don’t get the significance of the slow-mo vampires other then that they were the least terrifying villains ever conceived until the 1976 classic, “Dust Bunnies of Doom” and the later “The Aggressive Itchy Algae of Alpine Nigeria” and of course “Moss of Madness.*” Some of the dialogue is funny (as is the case with most translated movies) and I liked how the movie seemed to almost tease us with the prospect of boob but would always stop just as things were getting hot. I found it difficult to make fun of it MST3K style but no doubt there are much funnier people than I out there so this may be better movie for some. For the time being I stand by my ranking and would say that for most people this isn’t a movie worth trying.

*I completely made all those up.

No comments: